~ Tales from the Golden Age of Nor-Cali Sinsimilla Marijuana Growing ~

Humboldt Gold :: Epilogue
as told to Pernel S. Thyseldew by Larry Funk
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Epilogue

I got a postcard from Larry a few weeks ago. There was a picture of a huge concrete Jesus on it. "The Christ of the Ozarks outside Eureka Springs, Arkansas," was the title. His message was just as brief: "Looking for a place. Love you. Larry."

We stuck it out as a pair one more season of CAMP, and Larry's grow got popped. That did it. Now he's on the road, looking for that dream valley where he can grow monster mama sinsemillas with no hassle. And make a million.

Maybe he'll do it someday, if the price of grass keeps climbing. Thanks, CAMP! I only had to grow ten small plants this year to pay for a new engine for my VW, Bertha, and to subsidize my welfare checks to maintain my hippy lifestyle.

Do I miss Larry? More than I can say. Should I have packed Bertha with Rain and household goods to go with him on his search for his Holy Grail: The Perfect Place for a Perfect Grow? I thought long and hard on that one, but finally, I couldn't.

This is my home, my cabin, my garden, my dance class, my redwoods, my rainclouds. And no silly bunch of macho-ed out guys in flak jackets can make me flee.

One of the CAMP officials, or someone equally alien, said that after three years of CAMP activity, only the "hardcore" grower people remained. That includes me: hard....core.

Reg the Veg is still here, Brenda is living in San Jose...Costa Rica. Aldo and Geneva rented out their house and took themselves, kids and dogs to Idaho for a vacation with the Aryan Nation. Others went to Hawaii, one couple went back to Berkeley to get their degrees. And Larry, along with Drew Fibble and a newcomer named Cherokee, went looking for land in distant parts. They say they might grow in the Ozarks this year, or Kentucky, or maybe North Carolina.

But I'll be here. Reg and I see each other at the Woodrose once in awhile. We drink our coffee (still as good as ever) and reminisce about the "good old days."

Ye Gods! The "good old days." And I haven't hit 30 yet.

Will things ever be the same? Of course not. As my guru, Ho-Ho Ha-Ha keeps reminding me: "Change is growth, and vice versa." And indeed, change has come to my sunny Southern Humboldt. People are born, others die. Children grow, flowers bloom, and lovers come and go.

So, what the hell, I miss the way things were. I miss Larry. For that matter, I miss the puppy I had when I was ten. That's life, isn't it?

But, I'm here and so are a few others I won't name, still growing. And this year I think I'll plant twenty instead of just ten. There's more than one way to outwit CAMP.

Signed in green,
for the good green Earth,
and the good green things upon it.

KIKI TREE
Spring Equinox
1989

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