~ Tales from the Golden Age of Nor-Cali Sinsimilla Marijuana Growing ~

Humboldt Gold :: Chapter Twenty
as told to Pernel S. Thyseldew by Larry Funk
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C*A*M*P ATTACK

Camping tonight, camping tonight, camping on the old camp grounds..."

Aldo was almost jovial, but Geneva looked unhappy as hell. They had waved me down as I was driving through Ruby Valley. That's the way a lot of visiting is done around here. You pass somebody you know on the road, and wave them to a stop for a few words.

Aldo rolled a thin joint, still singing off key. Geneva glared. I'd heard they'd been hit by CAMP, but I'd had no details.

"They wiped us out," Geneva announced. "At least, on that one piece. Of course, we got a few back-ups over on the other piece, but you can bet your ass we won't be payin' off our land this year."

"I ain't sellin cheap," Aldo grumbled, taking a drag and passing the joint to me. "This here Raid just upped my price to $2400 a pound. I don't give a hoot how long I have to wait."

"We can't wait forever," Geneva said snappishly. "We can maybe wait longer than Mary and Joe, what with the baby comin." She turned to me to explain. "They rented a house in Redway last month, and then this mornin' they got popped. I'm glad Mary was in town. That sort of shit can make a woman or a cow abort. Them copters thumpin' down outta the sun first thing in the morning, just as we was havin' our coffee. And then those guys peelin' out, just a pickin' and a choppin'.."

Aldo nodded. "Ya know, though, I got a little respect for those mother fuckers. They was trained. They knew what they was about, I'll tell you? Not like those egg-suckin Sheriff assholes that don't know their peckers from a fence post. These here suckers didn't waste the time of day with us. I heard the honcho say, 'Plants is what we're after, not people.' And that's what they got. One hell of a lot of plants."

Geneva hailed down two more passing trucks. Katy and Vince emerged from one, and then Big Andy. They all had land in the Crazy Prairie area where CAMP was operating this morning.

Katy and Vince were oldtimers in the grower world. They had once grown in Oregon, and when that got hot, they'd moved to Mendocino County, just a few miles south of Garberville. After their growing partner went off his nut, they moved their operations to Crazy Prairie. Today, they were beaming. "They went all around us," Vince exclaimed. "Right over us. I could damned near read their name tags!" He slapped his ample belly, threw back his head and guffawed, his mouth so wide I could see his fillings. "But they just kept on going, right by. Oh God, I was so glad to see them land on that ridge down from us!"

"But we got our stuff hid," Katy added seriously. "They've been working up there three days now, and they've damn near cleaned out the whole area."

Big Andy nodded. "They got me," He said quietly. He looked at his shoes, then back at us. "I'm splittin' for L.A. tomorrow. I gotta get a job. I didn't have one cent extra."

There was a heavy silence. Aldo wrenched his wallet out of pocket and pulled out a hundred dollar bill. "Andy, I reckon I owe you this for the clippin' you did on my early stuff," he said. Andy, looking even unhappier than before, stuffed the bill in his pocket. He turned and got into his truck and drove off without looking back. The rest of us were quiet for a moment. Finally, Geneva sighed.

"I hope he makes it back up this way," She said. "He's a damned good neighbor."

"Is he buying that piece he's on?" I asked.

Geneva shook her head. "No, he's just renting from Steve Blanco. Steve and Linda leased it out for this year while they're home in Alabama. Linda wanted to have her baby down there, for some damn fool reason...the way things are, though, it turned out to be a damn good reason. To be away from here, I mean."

We talked a few minutes more, about the possibilities of getting through the CAMP season with crops intact, about how prices would be affected. When we broke up, I headed on into town.

At the Woodrose, the conversations were the same at every table. Who'd been hit, who'd saved what. Who had a greenhouse that went unscathed, who'd lost everything they had. The adrenalin present would have drowned a horse. I watched worried faces, scared faces, even happy faces. The tension made my stomach churn, so I ordered a glass of milk to try to calm it. My stuff was safe for the rest of the day, and tomorrow would take care of itself. At least, that's what I tried telling my innards. It didn't work. My stomach mounted a full rebellion.

Sure, I felt sorry for Andy and the others who had lost a year's work, and in some cases their land. REALLY sorry. But beneath that, I felt afraid for me. I sure as hell didn't want to lose all my efforts, my ass-breaking labors. And even if I didn't get rich this year, there was still a respectable crop growing over the ridge. My eyes began to burn and I swear to god, I thought I was going to cry right there in the Woodrose. I gulped a big mouthful of milk, and wondered if I was coming down with something.

Pete the Meat slid onto the stool beside me. "You look like you're coming down with something," he said cheerily. "There's a weird bug going around, you know. I think it's CAMP, dropping germs out of the helicopters."

I groaned. "Don't say stuff like that, Pete. Somebody will take you seriously, and the next thing you know, they'll be shooting. And anyway, I just have an upset stomach. It's no big deal."

Pete shrugged, unconvinced. "Maybe so. But remember how the CIA gave those guys LSD just to see what would happen? And how they plotted to poison Castro with a dosed cigar. And how they had guys going around San Francisco with germ-squirting briefcases? So germ warfare on the weed growers doesn't seem far fetched at all."

I stared at my empty glass. I had to get out. Out of the Woodrose, out of town...out of...what? No answer. I just wanted to be back on my hillside, with Kiki beside me and Spiro curled up near by and God in his Heaven watching over my plants. Forever and ever. Was that too much to ask? Amen.

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